Category: Communication

Pricelessness at 90

It's 32,805
The number of days you have now been alive
4,680 in weeks
You're listed among the world's priceless antiques
No way could the auctioneer’s gavel come down
For even the wealthiest bidder in town
I'd place a reserve of infinity plus
And wrap you and take you back home on the bus
You didn't arrive where you got to today
By giving your favourite belongings away
It’s kinder to share your opinions around
Instructions and lessons for free not one pound
Be careful don't burn yourself do not get lost
And why are you foolish and what did that cost
Collected and catalogued in your wee head
Is everything everyone's done or has said
Sound judgements pronounced no appeals 
This one's true
Most 90 year olds are just nothing like you

A mother's words are hard to price
Admonishments and wise advice
I learned at last that listening pays
It took me 20,000 days

Legal Discourse

It’s wonderful to listen to a view that’s well expressed
Convincingly with elegance a hand upon the breast
The confidence of eloquence the thumbs inside the vest
Or waving swords of truth the shield of valour and the rest

Impeccably grammatical with clarity of thought
Yes logical and lyrical and flowing as it ought
Besides the crystal diction there are sounds that can’t be taught
Of thinking being harnessed and attention being caught

The content could be nonsense or just slightly subtly wrong
Informed by Harry Potter books or operatic song
As long as no-one tries to make the sentences too long
We’d have to say this argument is jolly blinking strong

Or rather we are minded to concur the case is clear
No need for further evidence we heard it over here
Entranced and deeply moved it isn’t done to clap and cheer
Each member of the audience just sheds a little tear

These Brexit vote debates demand we be not quite so dense
As to be swayed by legal words like heretofore and hence
We beg to ask the Speaker pray be seated on the fence
And bring the bastard benchers to the House of Common Sense

“Rude Conversation” reappears with image and audio

But we only just met

Conversing with strangers at banquets
Or drinks parties what do you say
To keep things polite and avoid a big fight
With blows and torn clothes and affray
Don’t start with the pope that’s a slippery slope
Or a war or your horrible day
They’ll only throw canapés that isn’t right
Hit them over the head with the tray
If you’re faced with a pessimist just a light slap
Stops them moaning the world’s at the dogs
You might let a lot of wine land in their lap
When they say it’s all desert and bogs
You can try to do weather just keeping it light
But there’s only one topic for some
They’ll agree that the sun has returned from the night
But insist that it shines from their bum
So tell me of something you really enjoyed
Have you come far and where have you been?
You can hide what you think and you won’t get annoyed
If you trained on a course with the Queen








 







	


	



			
				


			

			
Non-verbals
		
	
	

		
Sitting at the breakfast bar

One on either side

I look left and he looks right

At the programme guide

For once I stop him switching

Oh fantastic outer space

OK no other comment

Big dejected face

Lookleft gets excited now

But Lookright’s eyes are glazed

He drums his right-hand fingertips

While I’m engrossed amazed

His face starts getting twisted

With his eyes and mouth askew

Another yawn resisted

And he’s wiping tears from view

Here comes the explanation look

Deep space is really deep

Lookdown is bending forwards

He’s actually asleep

Can you make it to the sofa

Watch the big TV instead

Catch up with the basketball

Before you bash your head